A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal by Jen Waite.
In this book, a marriage full of hope, excitement, and sensuality became a thing of regret and abuse. She started from the point of their love at first sight in a bar where he was the bar manager and she worked as a waitress. This love made her break up with her boyfriend as she started her love journey with Marco.
She went further to explain how she spent and invested all her life savings to secure a green card for him to reside in the USA and how she sacrificed her happiness and freedom to take care of by adopting his son from a previous marriage. She even told when she started noticing triggers in the marriage as when he was most times away from home and even when he was around, he was moody and not lively and at most times, he became abusive. She then found out that he was cheating through his emails and Facebook where he claimed in his status that he was single and unattached.
She also highlighted what a great liar he was and how good he was at covering his tracks intelligently and producing perfect and logical explanations when beseeched. Even after2 all these, she tried to cover the truth, rebuild trust in her marriage but instead found more lies, infidelity, and betrayal beyond her imagination. This became glaring that even while she was in labor with their daughter, her husband was busy on a phone call with his girlfriend which could be so disheartening and devastating, and even while she ran for refuge to her parents, her husband checked out a new apartment with his lover. She concluded that her husband was a fraudster and lived a double life. She even mentioned in an interview that she had been the sole custodian of their daughter.
Lessons from this book:
- There is a difference between having a healthy connection with someone and the attraction that results from love. She, therefore, advised that those in such situations should first be gentle in themselves and not be beating or blaming themselves or being ashamed to enable them to recover more quickly. She recommended being kind to oneself to prevent one from judging oneself. She said women should not be desperate when wanting love most especially when the family wants them to settle down as they will end up making avoidable mistakes.
- The period of divorce is the time to rebuild oneself after being shattered and broken and therefore recommended failing in love with oneself.